Farewell to the Village Boozer

Once there was a country pub that made a small profit. Everyone in the community drank there and nobody misbehaved because they knew that the landlord would ban them. Along came the government with an increase in alcohol duty. The landlord hired someone who could use a microwave and offered food to break even. Along came the government with a ban on drink driving. The landlord pleaded for a bus service, but the government said there was insufficient demand.

The pub lost customers and money. It closed, putting all the staff out of work. People gathered in the car park to drink and annoy pedestrians. Crime increased as neighbours stopped knowing each other. Some complained to the government about that and unemployment. As it was a marginal constituency the government hired an expensive committee to analyse the problem. The committee did not consider reopening the pub or improving public transport. Instead it recommended alcohol management courses and hired the former landlord to run them.

Drink responsibly folks, whilst you’re still allowed to.


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